Developing Attraction through Building Rapport in Powerful Presentations

To mirror/match language listen for the predicates being utilised within the interaction. If your client or audience speak mainly using visual words, you must also use mainly visual words and similarly for the auditory and kinaesthetic representational systems. To the extent possible, you should also use the same key phrases and language patterns as the other person. For example, I may describe a product, service or idea as 'awesome'. You may interpret 'awesome' as 'outstanding' and replace the word when speaking back to me. STOP! Yourself from changing the person's language! Language evokes strong feelings, when you alter a persons language you effect their internal feeling. And in doing so, you stand a good chance of displacing rapport and loosing the sale. In a negotiation, stale-mate may be the outcome you achieve and as a Presenter you might create hostility within your audience, especially at question time.

Is this not just a con! Some people find the idea of mirror/matching uncomfortable and they feel that they are trying to fool or take advantage. To overcome this uneasiness, realise that mirror/matching is the most important natural characteristic in 'unconscious' human interaction, and as such is at the foundation of the rapport building process.  If you are alive you are mirror/matching constantly, mirror/matching is the natural paralanguage of humans.

Backtracking - Backtracking is another excellent skill to learn in order to maintain and deepen rapport. Establish the opportunity to reflect back to the person the information you are receiving. This lets the person know that you were listening and that you understand without judgment. It also gives you a chance to check your own understanding and/or ask for clarification. If you were matching posture, breathing, key words and gestures, voice characteristics and did not attempt to backtrack, your rapport would eventually slip through the cracks.

Backtrack is the thread that tightens rapport. It is relating the essence, not verbatim, of what has just been said. There are times during backtracking when you may be corrected. This can strengthen rapport because then you must backtrack again which creates a feeling of understanding. There is also the possibility that being corrected will cause you to lose rapport. However, losing rapport is like losing your balance. You fall, recover, and get back up again. When you lose rapport you have to find a way to regain it. Some of the ways to regain rapport are to backtrack accurately, and mirror posture, breathing, key words and gestures and voice characteristics.

There may be times that you want to be "out" of rapport with someone. For example if it isn't healthy for you to be around certain people, such as being held hostage at a cocktail party or you are doing it for effect. You may think the way to break rapport is to be demeaning or disagree. Although that may work I recommend mismatching. This means intentionally mismatching posture, breathing, key words/gestures, and voice quality. Rely on mismatching the nonverbal communication and you will be out of rapport. For those of you who like experiments try this: Disagree strongly and maintain rapport. Agree completely while breaking rapport.

Whatever you decide after reading this, decide to take action, for action is first step to making success inevitable through MPTLB...