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How do I develop this outstanding ability?
The Ultimate in Rapport - Attraction and Desire the basis of Trust
The number one question you must answer before engaging in the deliberate development of building rapport is – Do you want to? And why?
Only when you have the answer to these questions, will you be ready to begin…
Building Rapport at the level of attraction and desire is all about your personal ‘intent'. As rapport is the transference of unconscious communication it is imperative you understand, that the person with whom you are developing rapport with, will sense your true intention through the unconscious transference. Maybe not immediately, but eventually mistrust will take place if you mislead a person.
Be clear that your intention and thoughts are the ground from which your attraction leaps; the quality of the results you achieve in building rapport will be a direct reflection of the thoughts that created the ground in the beginning. Another perspective here is; you attract to yourself the predominant thoughts that you are holding in your awareness whether those thoughts are conscious or unconscious.
If your intention is to manipulate the person for your own personal gain, without a thought for their needs, they will sense this thought process at the unconscious level, you have been warned!
In order to build rapport you need to:
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Set your intention: Why do you want to build deep rapport with this person or group?
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Begin to Mirror, Match and Pace a person's physiological movements, gestures and posture. Timing is critical. If I move my left hand upward then you must energetically match that movement in synchrony. Remember to match the energy not just mimic the movement. Simply mimicking a person's movements has no transference of communication; in fact it can become an irritant.
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As you Mirror, Match and Pace, become aware of the energy within the other person, feel how enthusiastic they are, or not, and match their energy level. This process is called ‘attunement' and is the powerful tool that Paul McKenna and Derren Brown use to relax you before subliminally directing your thoughts.
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Make Eye Contact and look deep into the person's eyes for a minimum of 5 seconds. Look directly into the centre of the eye not around the face. You want the other person to know you are present with them. Repeat this process regularly until it becomes a natural part of the process you are engaged in.
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Match their Breathing, both from the position of where they breathe and the rhythm in which they breathe. Watch from where the person is breathing (are they breathing high in the chest, or maybe lower chest area under the breastbone or very low levels deep into the abdomen?) Is their breathing quick, even, slow, very slow... attune yourself to their manner of breathing.
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Match their Voice tone and Quality, note if they speak fast, slow or very slow. This will usually be in rhythm with their breathing. Is the tone and pitch of their voice, high, middle or is it deep? Do they inflect upward or downwards within their speech pattern?
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Listen closely to the words they use and mirror back to them their own language patterns. These patterns are called Representational Systems and they are the ways in which we receive, process, store and retrieve information and experience. In other words, the five senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell. By using their language you begin to pace the communication and, therefore, you will be able to lead it in a different direction as required.
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Begin deconstructing their sentences to define their beliefs and values. As you listen with great attention to the words and sentences the other person uses, along with the emphasis they place on certain words, you will be able to ascertain what is truly important to them. This information is the unconscious key to your audience, client or customers' soul. Because when you know what is truly important to them you will be able to impact, persuade and influence with absolute confidence that subliminal success is inevitable. |