How do I develop this outstanding ability?
The Ultimate in Rapport - Attraction and Desire the basis of Trust
Let us consider the following question posed by one of my delegates on a recent course.
'I see what you mean but surely building rapport is simply about trust'.
The words used by the delegate are indicated in bold italics and they hold valuable information that will assist us in understanding what is of high value and importance to this person. Giving clear direction to what must be said in order to persuade them that this material is worth their trust.
SEE – when placed at the beginning of a sentence with an inflection up indicates that this person is processing information from a visual preference and is questioning the credibility of the material. (Click Representational Systems) This means that I must speak with a quick pace, inflect up and use the word 'see' at the beginning of my answer. I am acknowledging their question and also asking a subliminal question in return.
I see what you mean...
BUT - when placed in the centre of a sentence and with an inflection up negates that which has just been stated by the presenter, in other words, they do not believe you. When you answer the question you must use the word 'and' instead of 'but' to indicate you are not judging their question as negative, because we know instinctively that 'but' is a negative word.
I see what you mean and...
SIMPLY - is an indication that this person might be finding the topic complex and believes that building trust is a simple process. This is purely information at the moment, and I will use the word 'simply' in my answer to continue building rapport.
TRUST - Trust is a value word and placed at the end of a sentence with an inflection down is indicating that trust is of high importance to this person and I have yet to build it.
Here is my answer from the day of the training: 'I see what you mean and building trust is simple, and so is loosing it. Deliberately developing Rapport ensures you understand and take responsibilityfor when you have it, and when you do not. In order to ensure you have the opportunityto continually develop deeper trust, requires you to be in rapport with the other person.'
Deconstruction of my answer:
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I see what you mean was inflected up indicating a subliminal question to them about their question.
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Simple was inflected up indicating a question that building trust is simple.
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And so is losing it was inflected down indicating a command to believe that losing it is simple.
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Understand and take responsibility are inflected down to command them to take ownership of building deep rapport and not simply leave it to chance.
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Opportunity was inflected up indicating a question that you might not have the opportunity to create deep rapport.
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In rapport with the other person was inflected down as a command statement to be in rapport and thus developing deeper trust.
Persistent testing by Mirroring, matching and pacing the person's physiological movements, gestures and posture will ensure that rapport levels are where they need to be for unconscious transference of communication to continue, and business to be accomplished successfully.
And finally... Your levels of attraction are intrinsically linked to your ability to develop deep subliminal rapport. Talk to your children, they will show you how!